Wednesday, February 16, 2011

winter's ham bone

Yes...it's Mama. Down here, to the left...under the drift with the red flag on top and the vodka bottle sticking out of it. Oy with a capitol O, friends. Eighteen inches and several sub-zero temps later, me and my Magcicles made it out alive, don'tcha know. What a time we've had here in Arkansas- the New Alaska. I don't remember the winter season in them thar parts ever giving a bitch-slap like this. The white stuff went Snooki on us and it has been a flakey whopper, lemme tell ya. Of course, I have no recollection, because the last blizzard on record was back in the late 1800's! We got dumped on but good. And now 7 snow days, 11 netflix, plus the 5 day non-traditional school's winter break, later...well, you can do the math. It's the square root of one bulge-eyed, tuckered maternal unit who is tempted to go and beat a certain Superintendent's ass. Why they couldn't take away the days from the kid's May break instead, I do not know. My oldest is already struggling in math, so after all this Nanook craziness...I don't know what's going to happen to her. It sure won't be Harvard. I guess I could pull a Dugger and home school if worse comes to worse. Then again, I could also poke both of my eyeballs out. Ain't gonna happen for this stay-at-home mommy!

Yesiree, this season's festivities has been non-stop fun. Note to self- don't adopt a puppy for the Christmas holiday. Yeah, yeah, yeah...it was a grand photo and video op and the casa was all awash in sentiment, curly-ribbon and squeals but flash forward to my frozen rump in a pink robe and Fargo hat, trailing the dog over ice and dale every two hours. Potty training and -17 below just don't mix. We got through the worst of it though and he is trained and big enough now to be tethered for his tootsie-roll visits to the great outdoors but... He's a smart little guy. Cute as a button with a heart of gold. Having had to say avoir to a chomped phone charger cord, a kitchen rug and Jiminy Cricket's ascot, though, I could surely do without those razor sharp toofies.

Speaking of golden hearts...you can take the girl out of the Hollywood sunshine but ya can't take the girl out of Hollyweird! It is that glorious time of year for sparkles and Spanx- the 83rd Academy Awards, dah-lings! Turn up the snow and melo-dramatics..it is just around the corner! February- my fave month, hands down. Minus, the day after, when I wake up in a Grey Goose fog and have to say hello to another birthday. This particular one being the last official year of my forties. I better enjoy it because after this...it's all just "Sag" awards from here on. Big Daddy Mags pulled a twinkly one out of his hat this year as he scored a comped suite for our family's Oscars in the Ozarks-VI celebration. The girls are thrilled! Last year, we had my peri-menopausal Snuggie fete , but hell, this year, I just may brush my teeth and put on a little mascara!

Per usual, the hub and I have been trying to catch all the noms that are rentable since our movie dates outside of the home are few and far between. Not the proper way to see them mind you, but a Frau has gotta do what she's gotta do! The Social Network was fab..terrific screenplay, rocking score by the j'adorable Trent Reznor. It was a winner all around, I thought. I really liked Inception and was surprised Nolan was snubbed. Can't say enough about the impeccably done Toy Story-3. Animated feature winner, done deal. Another wonderful performance out of Melissa Leo. She has always been one of my favorite actors. Can't leave out the solid show of John Hawkes as a redneck meth-head, in the Ozarkian feel good movie of the year, all shot very close by in this neck of the woods. I think I saw a lady in it who works behind the deli-counter at my Walmart. Geoffrey Rush gives me a rush with each amazing character he embodies. Just love him! The King's Speech was lovely. It must be nice for Mr. Firth to be able to sip that limo Dom on his way down La Cienega, knowing full well he'll walk away with that bald, eight pound hunk o' Oscar! There are quite a few I haven't been able to view yet...Blue Valentine, being one of them and right up this Drama Mama's ally. That will be a must-see as soon as I can find a night where the children are fast asleep in their boudoir and I'm able to stay awake past my carbs and 7:15pm.

Oh, I could just emote all the live long day when it comes to award season. I don't know where I'd be without my motion pictures and inspiring performances. Year after year, the movies always deliver the Calgon moments I need to get through this crazy game called Life. It may be all about dough and business for most but I'm lucky to have the quiet, simple luxury of craft and catharsis- tucked away in a dark theatre with a salty bucket of 'corn, in my sweats and scrunchy.

P.S.) CLICK THIS LINK HERE if you are so inclined, for my Oscar Ballot, Trivia (went pretty easy on ya this year) and Quotes! Whee!!