Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Universe works in the most beautiful way. "Be grateful, dream big and never give up." I think this dude may be onto somethin'.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

mama and the grandmaster flash

My hub is in bed, 102 degrees & achey on his birthday weekend, my youngest has had what sounds like a Marlboro Red cough for the last month, I have a toilet that needs scrubbing and my remote is busted. Fun times for this Furious Five, lemme tell ya (if you count the goldfish). Yes, not only is Mercury often retro in my world...oh, I'd venture to say probably 90% of the time these days..but it is on a liquid rise in more ways than one. This summer heat has been awful. I fear my poor grass may be gone for good. It is like walking on rice-crispies out there. Even my Lilliputian Christmas trees off the front porch are scorched and orange on the top. We are having a heat wave to beat all heat waves down here in the Ozarks. And not a single rain drop in sight. Yep, the hills have eyes alright and they're wearing their Foster Grants.

I have never been a lover of summer, so I am always very eager to have it over and done with. Come August, I'm jonesing for autumn leaves and my favorite sweater. But I don't think Fall will be here any time soon. The kid's are back in school though, so I guess there's something cool going on. My youngest daughter is full-day this year and for the first time in a long while, my house is silent from 8 all the way until 3...except for the rat-a-tat of a keyboard and an occasional clink of an ice cube. And panting. Lots of it. No...not for reasons of that nature, mind you. Flashes. One after another. Literally. 'Bam! These suckers have certainly moved up a notch". As if this muggy weather isn't enough to frizzle my frazzle, my hormones are at a boiling point. Most of my nights are spent wide-eyed and riding a sort of endocrine roller coaster. Loops out the wah-zoo and a wicked G-force. It is so weird...a sort of nervous "dip" feeling in the chest and stomach like going down Space Mountain. It comes in waves all through the night. I thought I was about to go postal or something but googled it and find out that...yes, it's "normal". It just feels terminal, that's all. Suffice to say, I have shifted from having a light pink flush this past year to Six Flags over Anxiety. Not fun. No wonder my poor hubby is ailing so. He has to withstand gale force winds all night, blades whirring at DC-10 speed. Thank God, Hunter makes a good product or we Mags could be chopped up into five easy pieces.

Although things are rather toasty, we did have some nice travel goings-on these last couple of months. After the kids and I got back from Cali, we drove up to Chicago with Daddy for an overnighter to see brand new great-niece, Baby E. She's so darn cute..her nostrils are heart-shaped. It was followed by some way-too-quick sightseeing in the lovely Old Town section. Yeah, no wonder. I had to take out a small loan to park my car in that city. Jeez. Lovely architecture though, such history..Second City, Steppenwolf, beautiful Lincoln Park..visiting all my hubby's old apartments. The streets are j'adorable, tree-lined, hydrangeas blossoming everywhere...and those town-houses! A mere stone's throw from that beautiful, breezy lake and gorgeous skyline. Don't even get me started. I tried to wiggle my key into one but it didn't work. Yes, those peeps have some sweet home karma, for sure. Hell, even the pets have it made. Some pug decked out in a sweater and blingy leash trotted by me off Division with a thought bubble that said, 'Sorry, sucka.'

Then it was a short jaunt north to the Dairy State for the husband's high school reunion. It was a joy to see him reunited with old friends again. A lovely group of people, and such a charming community. We stopped by his boyhood home..still standing after almost a century ;-) Then over to check out the "lake that looks like an ocean, Mommy!" I won't talk about the pet-friendly hotel we booked on the drive up to Chi-Town that reeked of dog pee and a baked-in stank that can only happen when the a.c. unit has been turned off since '98. The atrium pool wasn't much of a relief as it was 101 outside, the sun beating through the glass. A pool/sauna, whether ya like it or not. I left Daddy Mags to splash in Humidville with the youngins and snuck off for a run on the treadmill that had a banana peel for its conveyer. Oh, joy. Hotwire wasn't so good to Mama on that one.

I will be taking to the air again in another month or so for a visit to the Florida Keys with my dear pal, Big Red. Our last vacay was a rendezvous at Disney World with the kids a couple of years back & is chronicled here for your reading pleasure. Four parks in four days with even a tornado thrown in! Only Mama Mags has such stories, folks. Yes, besides chardonnay and Bravo, I am thankful for many things in my life but particularly for my hardworking pals who kick ass with their sales numbers and win trips to four diamond resorts...and then ask me to tag along! This place is a movie-star doozy! Our very own 1200 square foot cottage, complete with wrap around porch, hand-delivered breakfast basket..basically every inch of our assed- kissed. And for mine...that's a lot of smoochin'! This is how the other half lives and I am up to the challenge! Ms. Winfrey supposedly had her big birthday bash here a few years back. Samantha Brown on the Travel Channel lists this private island resort in her Honeymoon Top Five. I'm a traveling 'beard' on this one, so no nookie is involved but, oh, how I can't wait for those gorgeous Margaritaville sunsets! No cars are allowed on the isle, so that makes for some quiet. And when you're ready to hop off to the mainland to party Buffett-style, there's a boat that will take you there! This is living, friends. And for approximately 48 hours or so, it will be my one and only Brangelina moment. Then its back to tator-tots and my 19 inch Sony.

And believe it or not Ripley, Mama is jet-setting solo with only her Vanity Fair and a nip to whiz through security. You read that right. Sans kiddos! No lifeguard duty, no fruit leather and no noodles. Just languid infinity pool drunks spent ogling all that misty blue and stuffing myself with lobster and creme brulee. Of course, my ego is such that I have been living at the gym non-stop since learning of the trip. I mean, if you're going to dine and drink with the rich, then you better have the hot body to go along with it! Well, let's be realistic here. A hot bod isn't in the cards for me anymore but I plan to take my muffin-top down to a pita pocket, at least. Thanks, Greggors. Can't wait! Now if I could just turn on CNN to find that the recent Dengue Fever outbreak across the Keys is under control, I'd feel a little more settled. :( Oh, well, if I have to move the dead bodies out of the way to get into my blissful ocean abode, then so be it.

Besides spending most of their summer swimming like Nemo and the Gang, my oldest participated in an Art Camp back in July. She had a ball and created some lovely pieces. She's got her Daddy's talent. Here's a still life of hers...My other baby is loving Kindergarten and tells me her teach is as 'pretty as a princess'. Watching her walk away during drop-off, hand in hand, with her big sissy made Mama misty. It was Tinker Bell all the way- from back pack to lunch box. Oh, my beautiful, little fairy girl. Before I know it, I'll be watching you walk away into a college dorm...a texting know-it-all, spending every damn dime I got. Oy. Well, hopefully, my hormones will finally be at a standstill by then and this old gray mare will be happily ensconsed in her pasture. Ahhh...if I squint, I can see it now-
'the light at the end of the tunnel'. Nah, wait a second. That's just the candle's reflection off my Grey Goose bottle.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

nano art

Artists, in any medium, never cease to amaze me. But when you use a fly hair as a paintbrush and design within the eye of a needle, that is something, non? This gentleman went from being belittled as a boy by a sorry excuse for a teacher to heeding the words of the mother who loved him. Dreams don't always come in big packages. And sometimes you just need a little help to see them.