have car, will travel

Help. One worn out, husband-less, over 40 mother is facing NINE full days of Spring Break hell with two blonde-tufted squealer monkeys under the age of five and no money to go anywhere or do anything. All friends who are geographically desirable please respond immediately to this desperate plea and invite said family to visit. Sleep over. Chat. Swim. Drink. Yacht. Something. Anything. 216 hours, people. 12,960 minutes of "What are we gonna do today, Mom? Where are we gonna go? Huh? Huh? Huh?" For those of my buds overseas...you might wanna send a paddle.


And Oprah, if you're reading this? I prefer to fly Air Tahiti. Non-stop.