finding the tigger

I was peeved. I thought: “My species has gotten off our planet and is in a new world for the first time, and you people think bedtime matters?”

When I got home, my dad gave me a photo that he’d taken of our TV set the second Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. We still have that photo.

Give yourself permission to dream. Fuel your kids’ dreams too. Once in a while, that might even mean letting them stay up past their bedtimes.

Ask for What You Want
On a trip to Disney World, my dad and I were at the monorail with my son Dylan, then 4. Dylan wanted to sit in the nose-cone with the driver, and my father thought it would be a kick too.

“Too bad they don’t let regular people sit there,” Dad said.

“Actually, I’ve learned there’s a trick to getting to sit up front,” I said. “Do you want to see it?”

I walked over to the attendant and said: “Excuse me. Could we please sit in the front car?”

“Certainly,” the attendant said. He led us to the nose-cone. It was one of the only times I ever saw my dad flabbergasted. “I said there was a trick,” I told him. “I didn’t say it was a hard trick.”

Now I’ve gotten even better at “just asking.” As we all know, it can take days to get medical results. Waiting is not how I want to spend my time, so I ask: “What’s the fastest I can get these results?”

“Oh,” they often respond, “we might be able to have them for you within an hour.”

Ask. More often than you’d suspect, the answer you’ll get is, “Sure.”

Dare To Take a Risk
In a virtual-reality course I taught, I encouraged students to attempt hard things and not worry about failing. At the end of the semester, I presented a stuffed penguin—“The First Penguin Award”—to the team that took the biggest gamble while not meeting its goals. The award came from the idea that when penguins jump in water that might have predators, well, one of them’s got to be the first penguin. In essence, it was a prize for “glorious failure.”

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted. And it can be the most valuable thing you have to offer.

Look for the Best In Everybody
I got this advice from Jon Snoddy, my hero at Disney Imagineering. “If you wait long enough,” he said, “people will surprise and impress you.” When you’re frustrated with people, when you’re angry, it may be because you haven’t given them enough time. Jon warned that this took great patience, even years. “In the end,” he said, “people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting. It will come out.”

Make Time for What Matters
When Jai and I went on our honeymoon, we wanted to be left alone. Since my boss demanded a way for people to reach me, I recorded this greeting:

“Hi, this is Randy. I waited until I was 39 to get married, so my wife and I are going away for a month. I hope you don’t have a problem with that, but my boss does. Apparently, I have to be reachable.” I then gave the names of Jai’s parents and the city where they lived. “If you call directory assistance, you can get their phone number. And then, if you can convince my in-laws that your emergency merits interrupting their only daughter’s honeymoon, they have our number.” We didn’t get any calls.

Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less than you think.

Let Kids Be Themselves
Because I’ve been so vocal about my childhood dreams, people have asked me about the dreams I have for my own kids. As a professor, I’ve seen how disruptive it can be for parents to have specific dreams for their children. My job is to help my kids foster a joy for life and develop the tools to fulfill their own wishes. My wishes for them are very exact and, given that I won’t be there, I want to be clear: Kids, don’t try to figure out what I wanted you to become. I want you to become what you want to become. And I want you to feel as if I am there with you, whatever path you choose.

Adapted from the book The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch and Wall Street Journal reporter Jeffrey Zaslow. Copyright © 2008 Randy Pausch. To be published by Hyperion. All rights reserved.