Saturday, December 29, 2007

get well soon

SONNET XVII
by Pablo Neruda

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

Monday, December 17, 2007

ass over teakettle...which reminds me

This is Mama Mag's comin' atcha after a fall on the ice while out for a run yesterday. Yep, 'tis the season for twisted rotator cuffs and broken hips. No need to worry as I thankfully missed my noodle and landed on nature's own airbag; otherwise my body wouldn't have been found until Spring. Unfortunately, for you guys though, my yapper and keyboard are no worse for wear...and after applying a soothing balm of Advil, Ferrero Rocher and Korbel, I have sat my sore derriere down to plunk away at more holiday ramblings on this fine, brisk evening.

It's that time of year again when jingle bells ring and Christmas music wafts across our decked halls...and what can I say? I'm a sucker for a holiday tune. After reading my buddy, Tom's, blog of his fave holiday songs, I have decided to sort of steal that idea and have a little fun and list my own. The girls are beginning to dig on all the seasonal tuneage this year, and surprisingly, my oldest is memorizing some of the lyrics of a few of the more challenging ones. Wow...pretty impressive, my rug rat (you can hear her pipes on my Sites and Sounds page).

So here goes...a Buddhist's Top Ten Christmas Songs...in no particular order (except for the first one which will always be my numero uno).

1) I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas- Bing Crosby
Besides this movie, White Christmas, being in my Top 20, it is also part of the Mag movie holiday tradition, thanks to my hubby's obsession with it and his sweet introduction of it to me during our first Christmas together, oh, so many years ago. This is a cherished part of our Christmas Day tradition (along with Scrooge, #6) over popcorn, leftovers and coffee. Where do I begin with my Bing....his perfectly silky vibrato is heaven to me. The shot of him singing to the troops, the look on their faces and the bombs bursting in the background breaks my heart every time. My prayers go out to the real soldiers and not to the movie ones that are away from their loved ones at a time when most of us are able to hold our children close and make precious memories with those we cherish. The thought of all those empty chairs around the holiday dinner table saddens me profoundly and I pray wholeheartedly that this nonsense will stop. I'll shut my pie-hole now or this may turn into the Top Ten Politicians Whose Arse I'd Like To Wallop With Santa's Boot.
2) Hallelujah-
I have never had the ability to fly but I do when I hear this classic. It fills my heart and sends me soaring. Whether it's performed by the Mormon Tabernacle, Royal Philharmonic or that little boy's choir who've all been castrated. One of my accomplished pals just got his PHD in music and can now conduct orchestras. I can't even imagine at how superbly blissful it must be..front and center on that stand..saturated in all of that amazing sound.
3) Once As I Remember-
The quiet poetry of this melody is just lovely. Reflective, almost haunting..in a merry holiday kind of way.
4) Charlie Brown's "Christmas Time Is Here"-
You can't leave this one off the list. Peanuts was the best. This one is from Mama's childhood back in the early 1900's. Well, not that long ago, but I grew up with this sweet little ditty and hold it near and dear. Aw...Snoopy skating around, dragging Charlie by the scarf and swinging him into trees. Ouch.
5) Counting My Blessings-
Another White Christmas classic...the smooth voice of ole Rosemary, cozied up by the fireplace, eating a liverwurst with Bing. I wish my life was this movie..all singing, dancing, flowing outfits, smiles and snow...minus the liverwurst. But I am serious when I say that I am most fortunate to have so many of my own to count this holiday season.
6) Bless Us All-
This little gem is from The Muppets-A Christmas Carole. This flick was a sweet one. Paul Williams composed this number where Tiny Tim and his 1/2 pig, 1/2 frog family share a special Christmas moment together. Michael Caine, one of my fave actors, leads up this puppet extravaganza. He's actually wonderful in it as he is in every movie he does. You know you're good when you can find the truth in every moment while acting with a wad of stuffing and some dude lying at your feet. Yep, I guess, its official. I am just a big ole mush ball when a singing amphibian can make me misty.
7) Barbara Allen-
This is actually an old Scottish folk song...but it happens to be on a soundtrack of another Mag family holiday movie must see -Scrooge w/ Alastair Sim. Don't even get me going on him. He should have won the Oscar that year as well as well as Mervyn John for his humble, sweet, poignant performance as Bob Cratchitt. Those two pros together give this actor girl another shot of holiday sock and buskin inspiration. Near the end of the film, after Ebenezer has learned the error of his ways, there is the scene where he finally visits his nephew and wife after a lifetime of absence during their Christmas gathering. He slowly enters the room, his redemption evident by the sincerity and tenderness in his eyes, an underlying vulnerability of someone asking for forgiveness...it just slays me. But again, I must stop with all this acting stuff..this entry is about the music! Focus Mama.
8) The Little Drummer Boy-
Aw...I love this Carole. The sincerity, purity of heart & faith and innocence of youth is a calm, reflective kind of thing to ponder and serve as an example for all of us crusty adults during the holiday and all year around. This little guy offered up not only his music but the beloved sticks he used to make it with. In Buddhism, we have a sort of similar version. where a child presents a mud pie to Shayamuni Buddha.
9) We're A Couple Of Misfits-
This is from the weird minds of Bass and Rankin...the duo's claymation creation of Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer. Hey, when I was a tot, these guys reigned supreme. Nowadays, these kids have to have their fancy-dancy Pixar stuff with all kinds of special effects and nose picking ogre humor. My hubby gripes every year when I insist on including this in our jingle-bell repertoire. I not only told him to get over his humbugish self but I went out and bought us our very own copy! So now we can watch it whenever we want during the holiday hey-day instead of waiting for it to air on T.V. The girls love it. I actually know of another person, one of my dear friends actually, who is a fully grown adult man who worships this stop-motion piece of merriment as much as me. However, I will spare him any humiliation by refraining to expose his identity here on The Daily Mag. Speaking of outing..er, I mean, speaking of my beloved little Hermie...he will always remain my favorite gay dentist and hold a special place in my heart. And that goes for his little song, too. I've always considered myself a bit of a misfit and I am rather diligent about dental hygiene, so the two of us have a lot in common. Besides, what with all the amputation, tangled Barbie hair and missing eyeballs that happen at the hands of my T. when it comes to all of her toys....it's the least I can do for those blessed, deformed misfit playthings that live on that sad little island of theirs.
9) Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas- James Taylor
What can I say? This man's music is like a big, cushy hug. Always comforting, always welcome and, hey, this guy plays guitar chords that take all five fingers on his left hand, for God's sake! Its soft jazzy overtones make this a ticker warmer and I just love it.
10) You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch- from Seuss' The Grinch That Stole Christmas. "Your brain is full of spiders, there's garlic in your soul...termites in your smile". Well, come on. Coupled with Karloff's brilliant voice over, and Ravenscroft singing, ya just gotta love this smarmy, smirky green guy. He is waaaay better than that other green oaf that has the million dollar donkey for his buddy. Plus, now that I have two of my very own Cindy Lous looking up at me from under the tree...well, I think it's evident that this old gal's heart has grown three sizes at least.

Yes, all this musical saccharine may come as a surprise to some of you that know me, what with all my John Lee Hooker..sad, mournful Blues type of thang that I dig on but as I have said before, I am a woman of many layers. And thank goodness, I have a rather thick one on my bum or I may have been spending the holidays with a broken arm.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

the richest man in town

It's no secret that I'm a film buff and that It's A Wonderful Life happens to be my fave movie of all time. Yeah, yeah...before I hear this and that about Citizen Cane or Casablanca, all incredible films...there is still no movie that gets me in my gut, my heart, my tear ducts like this one. Every holiday season, I look forward to seeing it for the umpteenth time above anything else I do during the whole pine-scented shebang. It melts away the two or three layers of cynical shellac I may have put on throughout the year and just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Well, it's either that or the tub-sized Grey Goose martini that I make to go along with my viewing pleasure. At any rate, this fab piece of cinema is mandatory for anyone who happens to be in my casa on Christmas Eve. And Mama is all about tradition since I didn't get any holidays as a kid because my parents were in a religious cult. Oh, that isn't totally true, I guess. It's just my bitter talking...but I digress. I am just a big ole Christmas junkie for a lot of reasons aside from all the fun I missed out on as a tyke. To me, it's about many things...the magic, the music, the movies-most definitely, the tastes, the smells, the tree, the candlelight and all that hokey stuff like hope and love and dreams. It isn't so much about the other component because, hey, I'm a Buddhist, but that doesn't mean we can't all come together, no matter what our belief systems are, and celebrate goodwill toward men, peace to all, do unto others, good tidings and gay Yuletides. However, some of my pals Yuletides are just a wee bit gayer than others...

Fortunately, for those of us that are on a stay-at-home mom budget there are very few gifts involved, so it puts the focus right where I think it should be- on the drinking. Oh, relax. I jest. Well...sort of. Nah, for me it's more about the presence we have inside, not the presents we unwrap. Although, if my guy wants to surprise me with a stainless steel Wolf/Subzero 50 grand kitchen rehab, then that would be totally acceptable...or perhaps wake me up on Christmas morning with the keys to a red-ribboned Lexus. But since that and the Armani suit I've been promising him for a decade or so now may not be in the cards anytime soon, I'll settle for the squeals of my kids and the look on their faces when they see the leftover crumbs of Santa's cookies and the simple, sweet holiday cheer shared with my mixed mag-bag of nuts. They always fit and they're better than a tie and you never want to return them. And this particular movie is all about that. My two girls are gonna have to see this little treasure another 15 times or so before they're finally able to escape Mama's clingy clutches and fly the coop. When they're sixteen they'll probably try to lock themselves in their bedrooms. But I'll make them sit their butts right on down and take a lesson from the Master. Capra, that is. The king of the cut, a guy pretty darn good with a pen and the auteur that knew the essence of who we are, what we are, what our hearts are capable of and how our heads sometimes get in the way. And, he was the man that gave us the Supporting Actor categories for my beloved Academy Awards. Didn't know that, did ya? Well, he did, and I for one am most happy about that. I mean, where would Hollyweird be, left with all these crappy leads that can't act their way out of a paper bag, without the steadfast dependability and anchor-like selves of the supporting actor? Speaking of which, when you have Bondi and H.B. Warner in the same flick?...well, that is a master acting class, folks. You can not have a holiday without it. At least for this thespian. But that was no problemo when it came to holding the reins on this fine film. The incomparable Jimmy Stewart was the best in whatever he chose to do throughout his career. When that guy kicked the bucket, the world not only lost a great actor, but a true star and an even truer gentleman.

If you let it, this flick will tell you everything you need to know in life. The stuff that's really important, anyway. It does for me. Every time.


Never ever leave an alcoholic in charge of your accounting.

A lot of a-holes have good money karma. That's just the way it is.

Always tell those you love that you love them because you never know what the morning may bring.

Money isn't everything until you lose 8000 bucks of it and then it becomes a whole lot more important.

Suicide is never the answer. That's why there's reality T.V. When you watch it, then you and your somewhat dysfunctional life look a whole lot better. At least for me, anyway.

There is such a thing as a soul mate.

Your friends are everything. Especially when they pool their dough together and bail you out of a bad situation.

There are a scant few people that can be so drunk that they fall over a row of trashcans but remain lovable, irreplaceable and endearing. May we all aspire to be one of them in the lives of those we love. Er..well, you know what I mean.

Utilize some birth control unless you want a home that maintains a decibel level to that of a leaf blower.

Listen to your mom. Most of the time, she'll tell you what's right.

It's not a big, fancy house and money that keeps a romance alive. It is simply, love.

It's okay to look at someone's junk in the trunk, but advance to Go and head straight home to your companion and kids.

We all have a Clarence. Some may call it intuition or being in rhythm with life and its environment, or simply faith itself. It's always there and it's always working whether you're too damn deaf to hear the bell or not.

You're never to broke to go to Lowes and fix the baluster cap. That's a lawsuit just waiting to happen.

Always dream big, whether or not you find out that what you really need is right in your own backyard.

Instill compassion into your children. That will be the most important thing you do.

and last but not least...

Our truest joy can lie in the petals of a flower.

It truly is a wonderful life, my friends....underneath the gas prices, chaos and car payments. It's down there, but sometimes ya just gotta dig for it. May you challenge yourself to feel, be and do throughout the other eleven months of the year, and more importantly, may you have the great fortune to see the magic and wonder of the holidays through the eyes of a child whether you have one or not.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

a letter to santa

Dear Santa,
Hi! I want a Sleeping Beauty dress with a tiara and a wig. I love you and I'm going to leave you milk and cookies and a carrot for Rudolph. Also...three more carrots for the other reindeers. I want a Barbie doll with a little mermaid dress..a bra and a little fish tail...a mermaid tail. Please. A little candy cane and a little pair of gloves for winter. A scarf and a hat, too. That's it. That's all I want. Please. Oh, yeah, a cage and hamster, too. That is all. Please. I want a teeny sofa made for a little girl. I love you. And a little lamp. I love reindeer and I want to ride one in my dreams. I also want a tiny Christmas tree in my bedroom. Please. And a little Cinderella dress for my sister.

I love you, Santa. I love you, reindeers.

Your friend,
W.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

turandot brings it out in me

Here's a pretty neat guy. His name is Paul Potts. He lives in Wales, hawks cell phones and oh, yeah, sings opera.

Click here for Paul's song.

I am reminded all too often of the many wonderful artists who are out in this great big world unable to make a living from their craft but instead are punching keyboards, waiting tables or whatever it takes to stay in the Game of Life. Some weren't able to crack the Hollywood code. Nothing more, nothing less. A few equate it to winning the lottery. I am inclined to agree. It stings, no doubt about it, but at the same time serves to inspire. Potts is all about that. And the humility and purity at which he shares himself moves and encourages me. Our art is who we are; no matter where we are or what we're doing...not what somebody pays us to do. I've known some true talents (and I'm fortunate to have heard and seen their work) that have moved on to other things because the biz never happened for them on the level that they wanted or needed it to. I'm married to one...has the timing of Benny but picks up his paycheck somewhere SSW of Broadway. It used to make me sad, but now that I'm a mom of two brand new shiny people, how can I encourage them not to follow their dreams? No matter what happens. no matter how it plays out. Whether they become bean counters or fly to the moon or ask me for 500 bucks to get their head shots done...it's not so much about the winning but the journey itself that will teach them the most and all the twists and turns along that roller coaster ride that will forge them into the cool ladies I know they're going to be.

Some of us might have missed the boat on that 401 K, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, we shared the deepest part of ourselves. How awesome is that? Whether we got the bling or not. I am honored to know all of you out there that have shared your art...yourselves..with me. The creative community I immersed myself in for all those years was truly my salvation. I discovered more about myself on that little stage in Silver Lake than I did just about anywhere. Life comes at ya fast. And sometimes a person has to roll in a different direction than they had planned or toward something they've realized may be the gold they really need after all. And sometimes that crazy hairpin turn becomes our true north. At least it has for me.

In Buddhism, there is no room for regret but always time for do-overs...new beginnings. I am looking forward to the next chapter in my life where perhaps I can turn on my klieg again. Until then, I will live through the beauty of art that hangs on my fridge and in the dreams of my children and what I've discovered is around me, always, no matter where I reside.

Art, of any kind, and its expression is truly the heart of humanity, and faith- it's wellspring...and that, my friends, keeps this old ball of rock turning.